- Caroline, sweetheart, if I was you, I would just put my head through a plate glass window.
- Because if I was working for you tonight, I would have been smart enough to check a thief's bag for a hidden compartment.
- Look, if I was you, I would go to Port authority and get on a bus right now.
- If I was as smart as you, I would have left too.
- Alex, if I was you, I would stay in therapy.
- But, if I was you, I would talk to his girlfriend, Linda.
- If I was going to kill you, I would have shot you back at the house.
- I just thought if I was you, I would want to know.
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- Jessica, if I knew you were coming over, I would have made us some tequila and eggs.
- If I thought you were dead, I wouldn't have put the make up.
- So if I were to marry you, then I would have to watch as you leave me behind.
- If I knew you were coming, I would have put on a more revealing gown.
- If I thought you were intruding, I wouldn't have come downstairs.
- I mean, if I were you, I would have hated my guts till the day I died.
- If I were you, I wouldn't have even let me in the house.
- But if I weren't treating you, I would never have known.
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